I'm So Sorry

I'm sorry I thought my brother was a horrible parent for calling his daughter "the monster"...to her face.

I'm sorry I was mortified (and let him know it) when my brother told his then 6 year old daughter that "girls don't ask questions" just to get her to shut-up.

I'm sorry I thought my Ex's niece was demented for popping her 18 month old (who couldn't possibly know better) on the hand for touching stuff on a bookshelf.

I'm sorry I thought my Ex's sister was mean for telling her 8 year old daughter to "go cry someplace else, we're trying to have fun here."

I'm sorry I thought "I'll be a so much better mommy" every time I saw a toddler throw a tantrum in public and the parent ignored it.

I'm sorry I thought my single-mom friend was "ungrateful for her blessing" whenever she gleefully pawned off her toddler on me for whole weekends.

I'm sorry I felt concerned for the baby when I asked my best friend if she was happy being a mom and she hesitated before answering "Well....."

I'm sorry I actually thought that misbehaving children were solely the result of bad parenting.

I'm truly, truly sorry. Please forgive me.

Okay, karma gods, now that I have apologized will you please GET OFF MY FRIGGIN' ASS?

Pretty please?